A Sort Of Cinderella Story
by Queen Pokeyokes
Summary: What happens when you mix a princess and Buffy The Vampire Slayer? Cinderella, the butt-kicking, prince-hating princess!
1. A Princess's Tale

**Hey! I know, this story is very confusing but if you ignore the weirdness of my writing, it's actually quite funny! Please review! **

**Chapter one, the princess's story**

Don't ask me my name. No really don't. It's soooooooo not important. We can go through the whole story calling me 'Muggle Hump The Weird' if you want. It's a lot, lot better than my real name. You don't need to know it. All you need to know is I'm female, tall, pretty, no, beautiful, no wait, gorgeous! That's better. Anyway, I'll stop rabbiting on and get on with the story.

Once upon a time, hang on, that doesn't sound right. I may be a princess but this is so NOT a fairy story. How about, in a land far, far away, that's better, you probably are a million miles away from Carrin, the land I'm in. Oops, sorry, you're not meant to know the name of the land yet! Just forget I told you Ok? You'll find out later. Oh god I'm totally rubbish at the whole story writing thing. Lets start again...

In a land far, far away there lived a beautiful princess, a butt kicking, prince hating, pink loving, princess. Many young princes came from far and wide, even from outside the land of Carrin (see NOW you can know the land.) to get a date with the gorgeous princess. But because the princess hated princes, she dropkicked them out the door of the castle. Cin.... phew! (Nearly told you my name there!!!! I won't make the same mistake again) the princess's parents did not like the young girls attitude so they said to her

" If you don't get your act together blah, blah, blah, then we'll blah, blah, blah and you'll be blah, blah, blah."

Then, totally out of the blue they made the poor deprived girl drive out of the kingdom in her Pink smart car with only £9005,608,465 to spend and banished her from the land saying she couldn't return until she was married to a prince! Hey! I'm not going to marry a snotty, stuck up, prince!!!!! All the decent looking ones just want to inherit my wealth and are such snobs it's unbelievable and all the soppy story ones look like pigs backsides!!!! So what do I do?????????


	2. A Parents View

**Chapter 2, A Parents View**

Oh dear, we were hoping for a lovely little princess, blessed by three good fairies, grow up, beautiful, intelligent and well mannered then marry a prince and inherit the kingdom!! But what did we get?? A 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer' clone who would rather go clubbing than go to the balls arranged for her! At her birth, one of the fairies were "unavailable" due to a heart attack and was in hospital with fairyitus. Typical, fairies are such hypochondriacs!!!! So she got blessed with beauty and intelligence but missed out on the well-mannered princess spell! Just our luck. She doesn't even wear the pink ball gowns we bought her, she prefers to wear slinky black minidresses and combat trousers, parachute pants, jeans, crop tops etc!!! We even called her Cinderella after the Disney film princess in hope that she would grow up like her but, alas. When she was a little girl she flushed all her Barbies down the loo and laughed when the royal plumber tried to unblock the bog and got covered in Barbie bras! When she was 11 she was expelled from home tutoring for gluing her teachers hair to the blackboard and taking pictures on her camera phone and sending to the daily mail under the headline _" Royal tutor all glued up on teaching Hell child!_" Imagine our embarrassment! When she started kicking the suitors out the door what could we do, but banish her! As we watched her pink smart car drive away with the words "boys are stupid, throw rocks at them" grafittied on the back, we dialled 0800 798 683 for BBC and told them to follow our daughter everywhere. She is the new big brother and we can watch what she does every day on BBC 2 non-stop! Our poor little Cinderella.


	3. BBC Producer speaks

**Hi! Yes, this is the author speaking. I hope you like my story and please, please, please review it!!!! Thank you!**

**Chapter 3, BBC producers story**

Wow! This is big, no huge! Bigger that the Teletubbies even! Oh it's my dream, now I can beat Big Brother and become number one live TV show of the YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!! I will be a success like no other! I will conquer the world of television and no one can stop me!!!!!!!!!! HEHE HEH HEH HEH ACK CHOKE COUGH...H.........Ah...

_Mike Thomas, BBC producer died of heart attack that night. He was replaced by someone else: Bob, former BBC studio cleaner. Bob was dead chuffed._

**Ok, this is a bit wierd and I hope you noticed that each chaper is someone different speaking. Hint, the person who is speaking is in the chapter name! But you knew that already!!!!! Didn't you??**


	4. Bob's story

** yes, this story is getting weirder by the minute. Stick with it though! it will get better!**

**Chapter 4, bob's story**

Coo! Who would have thought it! Me! Bob Brown, Producer of BBC. I've never even watched BBC let alone produced it! It's so exciting, one minute I was un-blocking the toilet, the next, I was being shaken by the hand and being seated in the producers chair. Imagine that! Wow!


	5. Back To Cindy

** Thank you for all your reviews. Thank you to Lunaceress for the helpful criticism. I'm always open for help as long as you're not saying this story sucks blah blah blah. I will take you're advise if I can and try to make the story better.Thanks again!**

**Chapter 5, back to Cindy**

I guess you're pretty tired of not knowing my name and I thought that the star of a story should always have a name so instead of my own sappy name, I always wanted to be called Barbra! So that's what we can call me. Barbra. Great now everyone is happy, we can get on. So, when I left town in search of this "Prince Perfect" I realised that the only way I could find someone decent to marry was to get hold of Orlando Bloom, but since he was spoken for and was currently not around I knew I'd have to go for second best: Heath Ledger but again, he had a girl so all my dreams of a decent hubby were scattered like crumbs from a very crummy cookie. As I sat in my Pink Smart Car I thought about my problem. Hey! I was blessed with intelligence by fairy no.2 so I wasn't a complete hopeless case! Anyway, I WAS thinking when suddenly I thought! I could get married to any old looser then Divorce him ASAP! Then La Dee Da everyone is happy, I'm not banished, and everyone knows celebrity marriages never last so no one will suspect me having anything to do with it! Happy Ending! So now I'm staying in "The Second Best Hotel In The World" the poshest hotel in Carrin. (Ok so I haven't actually left Carrin yet. I will tomorrow. Hey, My folks will never know!)


	6. Parents' Anger

**Chapter 6, Parents anger**

What is this madness? It's been a day and Cinderella still hasn't left Carrin! I suppose she has no idea that we're watching her 24/7! Oh well, we'll continue watching and hope she doesn't get into trouble. I wonder if broadcasting her whole life to the world was a bit much? Still, with fame comes publicity, and if she didn't want it, she shouldn't have become a Princess!

** I know, I know this is very hard to understand but each chapter is from a different persons' point of view. I have written up to chapter 11 but I have yet to post them all. So there is more to come! Hope you like it!!**


	7. Lacking thought of an imaginative chapte

** Hello, if you read this chapter closely, you will see many hidden things, for example: America; Americlone, Big grapefruit; the Big Apple etc. If you still do not get it, do not fret, there a lots of mentally challenged people out there, and you happen to be one of them! (joke!) I love you all really and please please PLEASE! review. thankyou! **

**Chapter 7, Cindy's search**

Finally out of Carrin. Took a flight to New Yorika last night. I always wanted to see Americlone. I suppose if I hadn't been banished I wouldn't have been able to see the big grapefruit!! Every cloud has a weird silver line round the outside! I should be happy! Tomorrow I hit the nightclub. Yeah, in the words of Austin Powers 'Groovy Baby Groovy' There is only one fall back to my master plan, I have to marry a prince, not some hot guy I meet in a club. Well I'm sure the prince of Americlone is single. I wonder if he's fit though? I know I won't be with him for long but I do want to at least have a good-looking fiancé. Hmmmmm I'm looking in my book '_Pride and Princes, A guide to Husbands'_. It's quite useful actually, full of good pictures. Woah! The prince of Indianah is fit! Dark skinned, dark hair, yummy! Damn he's married. Oh well, search on.... ummm hey, who's this??? Wow! He's fine! His name is Prince Gehswin. God, what a wierd name. He's georgous though! He'll do great! He is prince of Aracnila. That's, like, sooo close to Great Britdara! I wonder if he has one of those posh englashish accents? Well, next stop Aracnila. Getting him interested is the easy bit!


End file.
